


We can live forever if you’ve got the time

by RocioWrites



Series: KyoKao Week 2019 [2]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Future Fic, KyoKao Week, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:58:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioWrites/pseuds/RocioWrites
Summary: Day 2: Horror/MysteryIt’s dark, he’s mostly asleep. But he’s no fool, he knows when he opens his eyes that the silhouette against the windowisKyouya.After blinking fully awake, there’s no one there.





	We can live forever if you’ve got the time

The ceremony gets to be something short and sober, all things considered. There isn’t a body to bury, just the excuse to get them together and cry. It could be funny how the only ones doing that are Fuyumi and Tamaki. To be fair, Haruhi and Hikaru are shedding their own tears but with a lot more carefulness for who sees them. Haruhi’s pressed right at Tamaki’s side during the whole affair, him going from person to person trying out his condolences and in the end, being the one receiving the comforting words. Takashi, for his part, took the role of keeping Hikaru and Mitsukuni in check.

Fuyumi stumbles from sibling to sibling until she finds her place with Haruhi and Tamaki. The way Haruhi deals delicately with the both of them is nothing short of astonishing.

Kaoru… isn’t in that mental place for now. He _gets_ it. And yet, not one single tear. Just an odd sensation in his chest and the inability to look at the coffin for more than four seconds.

When Hikaru hugs him and hiccups a mangled assortment of phrases, he hugs back strongly and buries his face in his brother’s neck. But he doesn’t cry, he doesn’t answer back the sentiment. Kaoru hates himself a bit for that, he truly does, but there’s something inside him that can’t accept this reality.

This isn’t happening, or there’s something that’s off and with a little bit of time, things will go back to normal. Kyouya will show up in their apartment, tired and hungry, Kaoru will kiss him, feed him and let him sleep for as long as Kyouya’s body and mind need. This isn’t permanent, it doesn’t feel like it. Not for him at least. Not now.

“You don’t have to hold in your tears, Kao-chan.” Mitsukuni says in a whisper, patting his back.

“Yeah, how the fuck are you so composed?” Hikaru basically accuses him with that tone.

It makes him give a lopsided smile which in return makes Hikaru narrow his eyes in a completely incredulous look at what he’s seeing. Kaoru smiling almost nonchalantly in Kyouya’s funeral.

“I guess… I haven’t processed it yet.” He stops himself before shrugging, it’ll be way too tasteless. “I’ll make sure to come to you guys when it catches up to me.” He promises and a part of him struggles to believe it. Firstly, because right now all of this seems like a bad dream and Kaoru could wake up any minute now and he’d be in bed with Kyouya. And secondly, because if this is true, if this is real, if Kyouya really died in that flight accident where they couldn’t even recover his body, fuck it all, he doesn’t want the reality of it to catch up to him.

Mitsukuni and Takashi nod dutifully. Hikaru doesn’t really buy it; however, he’s respectful enough to not point it out at the moment.

Kaoru knows they will talk about this later, now he can have his peace of mind.

And when he thinks he’s free of this, someone hugs him from behind. The kind of warm embrace only one person can give.

“Tamaki…”

Tamaki doesn’t even reply, he presses his face against Kaoru’s back, arms tight around his waist. In any other occasion, Kaoru would be worried about Akito’s comments on the scene, but today, with Tamaki completely destroyed, Akito can go to hell.

He doesn’t even dare to turn around, so he grabs Tamaki’s hands and holds on.

There are no words, Kaoru can’t say a thing to make the other feel better. Mitsukuni’s eyes go so soft that Haruhi gravitates towards him and gets her own well-deserved hug. Takashi right at their side, murmuring reassuring words at her. Hikaru fiddles for longs seconds before deciding to go to Tamaki, caressing his hair and back lovingly.

It’s so sweet that it makes Kaoru’s want to explode in happiness. Then he remembers himself, the funeral. Kyouya isn’t here. He doesn’t feel it though. Everyone else does.

Everyone else feels so much that shouting breaks the solemnity.

When they turn to watch what’s going on, the screams become high-pitched and then dissolve into sobbing.

They come closer, because Fuyumi’s broken and she’s the one who was shouting seconds ago. She needs them to be as supportive as ever, her father and brothers are quite cold for her gentle nature.

“What’s happening?” Tamaki can’t help himself from asking to the next person. Which happens to be one of Kyouya’s loyal bodyguards.

Hotta, Kaoru quickly realizes.

The guy looks almost sick, his eyes are puffy and it’s heartbreakingly obvious he’s been crying and that he’s mourning the death of a friend, not just a boss. It makes Kaoru incomprehensibly glad that the bodyguards that have been working with Kyouya for so long have this much fondness and affection.

Fuyumi slaps Tachibana not so far away from them and then promptly turns around and leaves, all fury and grief.

Incredibly enough, the one who answers Tamakai’s question is Yuuichi. He looks somber but composed.

“She’s mad none of his bodyguards were with him that day.” He explains deadpan and Tamaki opens his mouth ready to say something, but even if it’s rude, Yuuichi keeps talking, and this time it’s directed at Hotta. “Please pick him and the other one up and just leave for now.”

It twists something uncomfortable in Kaoru’s stomach, the gelid tone, everything that such a sentence implies. He understands that Fuyumi is moved by raw emotion, Yuuichi on the other hand… Well, he guesses he rather be dealing with him than with Akito.

Hotta nods, of course he obeys. Tachibana gives Kaoru a look and he wants to offer a supportive smile although it feels out of pace. Aijima is waiting for them near the door and the three of them simply go without further ado.

Kaoru makes a mental note to talk to them, and make sure they won’t be laid off. And if they are, he will hire them, goddammit.

“Poor Fuyumi, but poor them too.” Tamaki supplies. He is totally right.

*

*

Hikaru keeps up with him constantly, waiting for his meltdown or something like that to occur. Mori checks up on him regularly as well.

It truly has gotten to the point where even Kaoru himself is starting to get worried. How can he still feel Kyouya’s presence so strongly? He still feels taken care of, and that cozy warmth of a shared home. It’s a ridiculous thing.

Tamaki and Haruhi are doing their best, Kaoru knows Tamaki has put a photograph of the three of them on his desk and Hani has confided that he thinks Tamaki talks to the portrait sometimes.

It hurts, the loneliness everyone else feels. And here he is, wondering if he actually misplaced Kyouya’s favorite notebook or why does it seem like Kyouya will show up any time now.

It’s despairing.

*

*

“Will you talk to me?” Hani announces himself, looking more mature than he ever remembers seeing him.

It makes sense. It hasn’t been that long.

Kaoru makes a quick calculation and realizes that almost two months have passed by already. That’s a long time to postpone grieving and mourning.

“What do you want to talk about?” He tries nonetheless, hoping Hani won’t be as direct as Hikaru usually is or as delicate as Mori usually is.

“Really, Kao-chan?” And it sounds equal parts disappointed and angry. Not a nice mix on Hani. At least not, when it’s directed at him.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, feeling a bit ashamed of himself. “It’s just…” He drawls. He doesn’t really know how to finish that phrase.

It’s just what?

That he can’t mourn Kyouya when he feels him in this house with him. Yes, he misses him, but Kaoru for the life of him feels it in his heart that Kyouya will be back. He’s the only one, he knows. And the way Hani looks at him, the pity and impotence Hikaru talks to him with… it’s as if he’s doomed.

“You don’t have to force it, Kao-chan.” Hani says when it’s obvious Kaoru hasn’t the slightest idea of what else to say. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Are you?”

The first impulse is to confirm he’s okay. It’d be disastrous. He offers just an apologetic half smile.

“How are you so composed?” Hani asks next.

And it’s like being back in front of Hikaru during the ceremony. He doesn’t know how, there’s still such a strong presence of Kyouya in his heart, he doesn’t feel he’s gone, he can’t feel such a thing. There’s no empty space, not really.

There’s longing, yes. There’s need too. So secular. Like when Kyouya is extremely busy with his work and isn’t around for weeks at a time.

“I’m doing my best, I suppose.”

Hani pats his shoulder, all understanding and fondness.

“Alright, that’s alright.” Kaoru truly wants to believe it. “Just remember we’re here for you, for anything you need, yeah?”

He nods and lets himself be comforted some more by Hani’s affection and concern.

*

*

It’s dark, he’s mostly asleep. But he’s no fool, he knows when he opens his eyes that the silhouette against the window _is_ Kyouya.

After blinking fully awake, there’s no one there.

*

This presents itself like an excellent chance for testing. Kaoru isn’t insane, at least he doesn’t think so.

He leaves a glass out along with Kyouya’s favorite wine. However, nothing happens.

He leaves Kyouya’s favorite notebook out once again. Nothing happens.

Yet, he sometimes smells Kyouya’s cologne and it feels like he’s there with him.

In the end, he takes a deep breath and decides to accept the dinner invitation his brother extended to him. It feels a bit like crashing into a date when he realizes it’s just Hikaru and Mori, but now he can’t back down.

“Do you think I’m going crazy?” He just has to question out loud once the waiter leaves with their orders.

Hikaru looks horrified.

“Why do you say that?” Mori replies readily, like he’s prepared to deal with any kind of situation. Bless him.

He thinks about it, and there’s no way to explain it to be honest. This isn’t how life was supposed to be for him. This isn’t alright.

“Because…” He pauses, Hikaru’s eyes are so sad. “This doesn’t seem real.” He confesses at last.

Mori pats his shoulder just like Hani did. It’s the same comfort, the same energy. Kaoru is so grateful for it. Life without Kyouya is not worth it. And life without Kyouya when everyone else is mourning except for him, it’s simply unbearable.

“You aren’t crazy.” Hikaru says, it’s soft and hurt. He’s watching his brother spiraling in denial, that’s what Hikaru must be thinking.

Kaoru grabs their hands, sighs and pleads. “If I do go insane, will you tell me? Will you help me?”

Hikaru smacks him. Mori compromises.

*

*

Kyouya’s blank notebook has gone missing. Kaoru is now descending into something akin to desperation.

Any other time, it’d mean nothing. Kyouya used to manage his notebook at whim and it wasn’t weird to see one one day, and another different the next day. But now… Kyouya isn’t here. That’s what everyone is convinced of.

He goes to bed with tears in his eyes and the strange feeling that this dream-like state will end soon.

So he guesses that feeling is what makes him whine Kyouya’s name in the middle of the night and hear Kyouya’s voice calling his name in return.

He awakes immediately and swears the window wasn’t open like that before. Wondering if the wind could actually make a sound similar to his name, he goes back to trying to sleep.

*  
*

The next unexpected visit is from Tachibana, Aijima and Hotta. They all look so troubled, it breaks Kaoru’s heart.

“Kaoru-sama.” Tachibana greets. And it makes him feel such a strong surge of protectiveness.

“Can we come in?” Aijima asks.

“Of course!” And even before opening the door enough for them to get in, he’s already thinking where he can send them, which job offers will be the best for them. “Who should I yell at? Was it Yuuichi?” He guesses. “If it was Fuyumi, I sort of won’t yell at her though.”

“Oh God, no.” Tachibana whispers lowly.

“Why would you yell at them?” Hotta asks innocently.

Kaoru blinks, rethinks his train of thought, and sits down on the sofa waiting for the others to follow his lead. “Aren’t you… fired?”

“No.”

“Not at all.”

They do sit down with him.

“Oh. That’s good.” He pauses. They look worried and nervous and Kaoru doesn’t understand exactly what is happening. “Okay…” He starts. “Not that I don’t like visits but, why are you here then?”

Hotta looks extremely uncomfortable and for a few seconds, Kaoru is as well. There’s something this men are hiding and this is redemption time it seems. He can’t help to get even more worried when it’s not about getting a new job – he could get them new jobs, but what other thing can Kaoru do to make them at ease?

“We’re here… because we need to be honest with something, we need you to know.” Tachibana says.

“To understand.” Aijima adds.

It’s hard to not feel afraid at such words.

“Understand what?”

Hotta looks defeated, head hung low, hands on his lap. Like a kid that knows a reprimand is coming. “We’re so sorry, Kaoru-sama.”

“I’m getting very worried here guys so please whatever it is that you want to tell me, do it now before I have a heart attack, yeah?”

“We are very sorry we weren’t there the day of Kyouya-sama’s accident.” Kaoru nods at this, relief washes over him, if this is the kind of guilt these men are carrying, he can offer all the forgiveness in the world. “It was Kyouya-sama’s orders, he didn’t want us with him in that flight.” Tachibana finishes, serious and disturbed at the same time.

Kaoru’s heart stops. “Wh—what?”

“We shouldn’t have listened to him but we did, it didn’t seem so big of a matter back then. And now… we are full of regret.” Aijima tries to explain himself.

“No… What? I mean… what are you implying?” He was right, he’s going insane. “Was he being targeted by mafia, someone dangerous? Was he in a suicidal mission? What the fuck are you implying?!” He doesn’t want to lose control of the situation, he doesn’t want to put them on the spot, but this isn’t making any sense whatsoever. “I don’t— I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“We don’t understand either.” Hotta replies, looking so lost and fragile for a man his size.

There’s so much loyalty in them, not to the Ootori, but to Kyouya. Disclosing this must be so hard, they feel responsible. It honestly makes no sense.

“We don’t know what his plans were or what does it all mean, Kaoru-sama. But we want you to know this before guilt consumes us.”

“Okay.” He replies, nodding, bordering on hysterics by now. “Alright. It’s just— I have no idea what to do with this information” And the laugh that proceeds that statement is a weak one, born out of nervousness and fear.

“We aren’t sure either.” Aijima confesses. “Anything else we can do for you Kaoru-sama, we’ll be glad to help you out.”

They stand up swiftly, all functionality in the motions. Kaoru can’t be bothered to guide them to the door, so he gives them a last feeble smile and Hotta takes the cue. Tachibana pats his shoulder before leaving too.

Lastly, Aijima seems rooted to the floor.

“What is it?”

“It’s been quite some time. And I must admit… I get more concerned as days go by without recovering— his body. Not even the pilot’s.”

Kaoru’s mouth falls open. “ _What?_ ” He utters in a mumble, disbelief dripping for the word. “What are you saying now? That he faked his own death? Kyouya orchestrated all of this to disappear?”

Aijima’s mouth is set in the thinnest line, eyes so very tired. “I do not know.” It makes Kaoru scoff, but it’s honest and valid, how could he know? “The only thing I’m sure of… is that if this is truly something else, you’re the one who should find out.”

And just like that, he bows and goes.

*

*

He’s tucked in bed, at the verge of crying and toying with the idea of texting Mori in order to cash in that favor, he’s crazy right now.

How can he keep going after what he’s been told?

He’s falling asleep with his phone on his hand when something falls to ground making a loud noise for such a late night hour, followed by the most unapologetic _Ups?_ he’s ever heard and an exhausted sigh. He’s immediately awake.

“What the—?”

And there he is, in the middle of their living room, as pale and handsome as always. Looking grumpy and a bit menacing.

Kaoru thinks he’s hallucinating, he walks towards him slowly and with apprehension, amazed and afraid at the same time.

Kyouya is there, flesh and bone, after being declared dead and having a ceremony on his honor. After months of fighting against everyone else mourning and dealing with his own inability of feeling grief. Kyouya is there, alive and here, and this is making even less sense than before.

“How are you here?”

“Oh wow.” And it startles Kaoru so much to hear an unknown voice. “So you did have a lover, huh.” The guy is tall but sounds so easy going, in any other circumstances, Kaoru wouldn’t feel threatened at all.

Now though…

“Fuck.” He whispers and goes back at Kyouya because he can only process one thing at a time right now. “What…? How…? I— Um.” He so intelligently says.

“Kaoru.” And God, he missed his voice so much.

“I mean, okay, you didn’t have to fake your death if you wanted to break up with me, you know?” He tries to joke and points at the stranger.

The guy laughs. Kyouya doesn’t, he just frowns.

“It’s not like that, and you know it.” He takes his hands and everything comes crashing down for Kaoru, it’s been such long months.

“I know it?” He repeats, desperate by now. “I know shit, I know everyone thought you dead and look, surprise, you’re in our home at an ungodly hour with some random man I haven’t met before. So, no, I don’t think I know.”

“Oh he got you.” The guy says and of course Kaoru just glares at him.

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t know you. Get out of my house.”

“Kaoru.” Kyouya calls again, softer this time. It breaks his heart into a million pieces.

“You know what happened? I saw your sister slap Tachibana like it’s his fault, I saw Tamaki cry so much, I saw Hikaru pitying me, I saw Haruhi consoling his husband who lost a brother and she didn’t even know how to cope herself, and I had Hani and Mori trying to be so supportive of me. And here you are, you own me an explanation at the very least.”

Kyouya makes a face, cringing. “I am sorry.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that but I want answers now.”

And Kyouya has no right to look as troubled and defeated as he does. “I’m afraid the explanation might be a bit… Weird.”

“Are you serious? Weird? When we’ve known Tamaki for so long?”

It produces a lopsided smile for a few seconds. “I’m talking about the kind of weird that one would associate with Nekoshima Umehito in fact.”

“Oh.” He mocks. “Are you going to tell me that you were sacrificed to summon some diabolic entity and now you're a ghost haunting me? That’s rich.”

The guy emits a bark of a laugh way too amused considering Kaoru doesn't even want him here. Kyouya fulminates him with the most powerful glare from his arsenal. The guy shrugs, unaffected. “It can happen.” He says.

Kaoru sighs. “Okay look, if you aren't going to be honest…”

“I'm a vampire.”

Dead silence.

“Come again? I think I heard you say you're a vampire?”

“I've been turned into a vampire, yes.” Kyouya assures.

More silence.

“I—” Kaoru blinks owlishly, shocked. “I believe I should call Mori, I've gone insane and he promised to—”

“You aren’t insane.” Kyouya interrupts him. “This situation is insane.”

“No no no—”

And right before his eyes, Kyouya opens his mouth and by art of magic (black magic?) his fangs grow into these sharp deadly things. Kaoru is speechless, he even misses the other guy’s awed whistle.

“Am I even awake? This is a nightmare, right?” He exclaims, in hysterics.

Kyouya looks at him, testing, and when Kaoru seems like he won’t punch him, Kyouya hugs him. His body is cold, but Kaoru has missed this so much, it still feels like home.

“I am sorry.” Kyouya repeats. “I’m sorry it has come to be this way but I had to do it, I can’t live like another human.” A tiny nod against his chest allows him to continue. “The only thing waiting for me if I decided to continue to live like a human was an investigation about blood missing from Ootori hospitals and a conspiracy about a powerful anti-aging serum.”

Kaoru regains his composure, taking a big gulp of breathe and shuddering his way out of the embrace to look directly at those gray eyes he loves so much. “So what now? Are you here to turn me into a vampire too?”

“No.” Kyouya replies and Kaoru already knew that was going to be his answer even before uttering the question. He has to try nonetheless. “This isn’t a blessing, it’s a curse. I would never make you go through this.”

“Don’t you want us to spend eternity together?” It’s the last desperate attempt before his voice cracks and vanishes to hushed sobs.

“If you saw what eternity has done to some of them. Kaoru, I’m not playing.”

He nods, bites his lips shut. “Okay.” This is losing Kyouya, this is the end of their life as they lived it before. “Will you tell me everything?”

“Sure.” Behind them the guy shouts _What?!_ and they both ignore it. “But I’m afraid I’ll be breaking the rules of the clan. And you can’t share any of this with anyone. Not even Hikaru.”

“I can manage that.” Kaoru gives him a half smile.

“Of course, go ahead, jeopardize all of us because you can’t keep it in your pants.” The guy exclaims, throwing his hands in the air, very dramatic. Kyouya just rolls his eyes.

“He is so annoying.” Kaoru comments and he looks offended for the total amount of three seconds before breaking into a grin. “But he’s got humor.” Kaoru adds.

“Kuroo is…”

“His partner in this new life. Pleasure to meet you, Kyouya’s human partner.”

Kaoru arches an eyebrow. “I’m not sure yet if I can say the same.” And to Kyouya: “So human partner huh?” And as soon as he finishes saying it out loud, he scoffs. “This is beyond ridiculous, oh God.”

“Yes, it is.” The guy— Kuroo agrees. “I’m going to leave you alone so you can catch up. Just remember… Loverboy needs to be real quiet about it. And no one else can know, deal?”

“Deal.” Kyouya promptly assures.

“Cool!”

And he disappears in a flurry of something similar to dust, a kind of magic dust since once Kuroo is long gone, it floats weightlessly until it disappears as well.

When the electricity of this magic trick settles, Kaoru turns fully towards Kyouya and finally gives him the kiss he’s been wanting for months now.

“Are you going to stay with me? For the rest of my mortal life?” He pleads, lips still touching.

“Yes, I’ll stay.” The promise ghosts over his mouth and Kaoru feels like he can breath again.

He wants to ask Kyouya so many things, he wants to tell him every detail about life without him. But he believes there’s plenty of time for that, no need to hurry. So he just kisses him again and again.

*

*

“So how is Kaoru?” Haruhi asks softly, mindful of the lapful of asleep Tamaki she’s taking care of.

“I think he’s doing fine!” Hani answers quickly before shoving another piece of cake.

Hikaru nods. “Actually, yeah, he’s better I think. I mean, he’s devastated, but that’s to be expected. At least he’s aware Kyouya isn’t coming back.”

“He asked us to help him move Kyouya’s belonging to a pretty far away storage.” Mori informs dutifully. “He said he couldn’t get rid of them just yet, but he’s working on this and I’m proud of him.”

Haruhi smiles. “That’s so good! It was so tragic and sudden, I was worried about him.” They all agree, nodding or whispering it. “What’s more, I’m sometimes worried about Tamaki…”

“Why?”

She pets his blond hair and looks away, eyes going watery. “He says he sometimes sees Kyouya in our house or the street. One time he told me he heard him in the background while talking with Kaoru over the phone.”

“Oh poor Tama-chan!”

Hikaru swallows the lump in his throat. “I’m confident he’ll grow out of it, it’s a matter of time.”


End file.
